Employee refuses to donate his PTO hours to a coworker who he barely knows: 'Amy said that not donating is really selfish'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 22, 2026 8:00 AM EST

She is not entitled to the PTO that he earned.

We've all heard stories of teachers or nurses coming together to donate their sick days or paid time off to a coworker dealing with an illness, a family loss, or another tragedy that prevents them from working. While some see this story as a testament to coworkers' selflessness, all I can think of is the company's selfishness. It's not right that we live in a world where you can lose your job because of a life-altering tragedy that you have no control over, and therefore lose your health insurance. I know that in a lot of cases, people don't lose their jobs because they have a life-threatening condition: they lose their income, having to go on leave indefinitely, and that's the point of donating PTO: PTO and sick days are paid, and once you run out of those and your emergency is still raging on, you lose your source of income. Enter the heroic coworkers donating their PTO instead of the company giving them more paid time off than they "earned." The bottom line is unaffected if the ailing employee is using time off that's already been given to other employees.

Companies don't want to put an out-of-commission employee on paid leave indefinitely, because then they'd have to do the same for all employees facing a tragedy. They don't want to have different standards for different people, so they do everything in their power to sort of help their employees while sort of trying not to get sued by them for discrimination. It's a double-edged sword.

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  • Man with beard and glasses sitting at desk
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • For many employees, giving up one or two days of PTO is worth it to help a colleague during times of woe. But that doesn't mean it's worth it to all employees, especially those who were saving up that PTO for something special. The employee in this story doesn't think he's close enough to his coworker to be obliged to give her his time, but his other colleagues disagree. 

  • Am I the bad guy for refusing to donate PTO hours to coworker I barely know who "needs" them??

    My company has a program where you can donate PTO hours to coworkers in crisis. I'm 32M and I've worked here 6 years, have about 120 hours saved.
    via u/Traditional-Dog1601
  • HR sent an email asking for donations for "Jennifer" in accounting. She used all her PTO and needs more for "personal reasons." I don't know Jennifer well, maybe said hi twice.
    via u/Traditional-Dog1601
  • My coworker "Amy" is pushing everyone to donate. She asked how many hours I'm giving. I said I'm not donating.
    via u/Traditional-Dog1601
  • Amy looked shocked and said "why not? She really needs it." I said I don't know her or her situation, and I'm saving my PTO for my own use.
    via u/Traditional-Dog1601
  • Amy said that's "really selfish" because Jennifer is "going through something." She then announced in our team meeting that "some people refuse to help Jennifer" while looking at me.
    via u/Traditional-Dog1601
  • Now I'm getting side- eye from coworkers. My boss pulled me aside and said while donating is optional, it "looks bad" that I'm not participating when others are giving 5-10 hours.
    via u/Traditional-Dog1601
  • Its not an emergency. People have donated 80 hours total and she needs 40 more. I feel bad but also l earned my PTO and I'm planning to use it for a trip I've been saving for.
    via u/Traditional-Dog1601
  • Plus I barely know this person. My girlfriend thinks I should donate 5 hours "to look like a team player" but that feels like giving in to pressure.
    via u/Traditional-Dog1601
  • AITJ? TL;DR: HR asked for PTO donations for coworker I don't know, I refused, coworkers are treating me like I'm selfish, boss says it looks bad.
    via u/Traditional-Dog1601
  • Randolla 1960 If your boss feels that way, then why doesn't the company just pay for her time off? Why should it be on the backs of the other employees to give up their time?
    via u/Randolla1960
  • Traditional-Dog1601 Original Poster's Reply Precisely. and why would they keep saying it is optional and they're actions do otherwise? Now I feel obligated because if I dont give in, it's like me vs the whole people at the company. This environment is looking toxic whether I donate or not..
    via u/Traditional-Dog1601
  • LogicalDifference529 You should tell your boss that "it looks bad" when a company requests PTO from other employees instead of just offering their in need employee options in an emergency.
    via u/LogicalDifference529
  • Traditional-Dog1601 Original Poster's Reply Precisely. And if I donate, I wont feel good about it. I feel dictated. If I don't donate, all my coworkers are like turning against me. This is becoming toxic..
    via u/Traditional-Dog1601
  • Parkour82 Companies should not be asking employees to donate PTO or time off to other employees. They should supply for emergencies, not the employees.
    via u/Parkour82
  • Traditional-Dog1601 Original Poster's Reply Agreed sir. And I was really disappointed with my boss.. they keep saying it is optional but I feel obligated to do it. I'm starting to feel I am in a toxic working environment..
    via u/Traditional-Dog1601
  • ConsequenceThese4559 Because created this "option" to pass the coast onto its employees. Guard your time.
    via u/ConsequenceThese4559
  • Beginning Present_24 I used to think it was cool when companies allowed this. Then I thought about it and wondered why they didn't just give the employee time off rather than ask other employees to sacrifice their time. It doesn't make sense to me.
    via u/Beginning_Present_24
  • Main_Cauliflower5479 Amy is out of line. Report her to HR.
    via u/Main_Cauliflower5479
  • Nearly_Pointless This. It is a ridiculous ask for an employer to get involved at all. If she is such a valuable asset, the company ought to step up and take care off her. Asking employees to pay for someone else is well beyond a step too far.
    via u/Nearly_Pointless
  • PersonalityFuture151 Humph. I declined to donate for a coworker I DID know. Their piss poor planning is not my responsibility. She had treated me poorly in the past and now she had to look back at that.
    via u/PersonalityFuture151

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donation employee job bosses pressure coworkers time off PTO human resources workplace
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